Thought for the day
An amazing Steve Jobs quote ...
"Whoever loves you will never leave you, even if he or she has 100 reasons to give up. They will always find one reason to hold on."
"Whoever loves you will never leave you, even if he or she has 100 reasons to give up. They will always find one reason to hold on."
18.02.2022
The most amazing magical perfect day of my life.
All Of Me
What would I do without your smart mouth
Drawing me in, and you kicking me out
You've got my head spinning, no kidding, I can't pin you down
What's going on in that beautiful mind
I'm on your magical mystery ride
And I'm so dizzy, don't know what hit me, but I'll be alright
My head's under water
But I'm breathing fine
You're crazy and I'm out of my mind
'Cause all of me
Loves all of you
Love your curves and all your edges
All your perfect imperfections
Give your all to me
I'll give my all to you
You're my end and my beginning
Even when I lose I'm winning
'Cause I give you all of me
And you give me all of you, oh
How many times do I have to tell you
Even when you're crying you're beautiful too
The world is beating you down, I'm around through every mood
You're my downfall, you're my muse
My worst distraction, my rhythm and blues
I can't stop singing, it's ringing, in my head for you
My head's under water
But I'm breathing fine
You're crazy and I'm out of my mind
'Cause all of me
Loves all of you
Love your curves and all your edges
All your perfect imperfections
Give your all to me
I'll give my all to you
You're my end and my beginning
Even when I lose I'm winning
'Cause I give you all of me
And you give me all of you, oh
Give me all of you
Cards on the table, we're both showing hearts
Risking it all, though it's hard
'Cause all of me
Loves all of you
Love your curves and all your edges
All your perfect imperfections
Give your all to me
I'll give my all to you
You're my end and my beginning
Even when I lose I'm winning
'Cause I give you all of me
And you give me all of you
I give you all of me
And you give me all of you, oh
What would I do without your smart mouth
Drawing me in, and you kicking me out
You've got my head spinning, no kidding, I can't pin you down
What's going on in that beautiful mind
I'm on your magical mystery ride
And I'm so dizzy, don't know what hit me, but I'll be alright
My head's under water
But I'm breathing fine
You're crazy and I'm out of my mind
'Cause all of me
Loves all of you
Love your curves and all your edges
All your perfect imperfections
Give your all to me
I'll give my all to you
You're my end and my beginning
Even when I lose I'm winning
'Cause I give you all of me
And you give me all of you, oh
How many times do I have to tell you
Even when you're crying you're beautiful too
The world is beating you down, I'm around through every mood
You're my downfall, you're my muse
My worst distraction, my rhythm and blues
I can't stop singing, it's ringing, in my head for you
My head's under water
But I'm breathing fine
You're crazy and I'm out of my mind
'Cause all of me
Loves all of you
Love your curves and all your edges
All your perfect imperfections
Give your all to me
I'll give my all to you
You're my end and my beginning
Even when I lose I'm winning
'Cause I give you all of me
And you give me all of you, oh
Give me all of you
Cards on the table, we're both showing hearts
Risking it all, though it's hard
'Cause all of me
Loves all of you
Love your curves and all your edges
All your perfect imperfections
Give your all to me
I'll give my all to you
You're my end and my beginning
Even when I lose I'm winning
'Cause I give you all of me
And you give me all of you
I give you all of me
And you give me all of you, oh
What’s in a kiss …
What’s in a kiss …
A first attempt, he leans over, she pulls away and says “what are you
doing?”
Eager, excited, awkward, embarrassed.
What’s in a kiss …
A pub, just the two, a table in the corner. Chemistry and conversation,
hands touch, drawn together.
Uncertain, nervous, anticipation, elation.
What’s in a kiss …
A beach house, alone, together for the first time, All that anticipation, the
waiting, the week dragging on.
Passion, lust, fire, chemistry.
What’s in a kiss …
Friendship and love blossoms and grows, commitments are made and
tears are shared.
Loving, soft, gentle, caring.
What’s in a kiss …
Weeks turn to months, months turn to years, moments in time in busy
lives, where time stands still, and the stars align.
Perfect, connected, effortless, unforgettable.
What’s in a kiss …
A road unclear, a mountain too high, the unthinkable happens, with
trembling lips she says her goodbye.
Sad, lonely, fearful, final.
What’s in a kiss …
What’s there to miss …
What’s in a kiss …
A first attempt, he leans over, she pulls away and says “what are you
doing?”
Eager, excited, awkward, embarrassed.
What’s in a kiss …
A pub, just the two, a table in the corner. Chemistry and conversation,
hands touch, drawn together.
Uncertain, nervous, anticipation, elation.
What’s in a kiss …
A beach house, alone, together for the first time, All that anticipation, the
waiting, the week dragging on.
Passion, lust, fire, chemistry.
What’s in a kiss …
Friendship and love blossoms and grows, commitments are made and
tears are shared.
Loving, soft, gentle, caring.
What’s in a kiss …
Weeks turn to months, months turn to years, moments in time in busy
lives, where time stands still, and the stars align.
Perfect, connected, effortless, unforgettable.
What’s in a kiss …
A road unclear, a mountain too high, the unthinkable happens, with
trembling lips she says her goodbye.
Sad, lonely, fearful, final.
What’s in a kiss …
What’s there to miss …
Clue ...
☥
A _ _ h
☥
A _ _ h
A Perfect Moment ....
Two bodies entwined in desire and love,
Lightning bolts across the sky above,
Illuminating their passionate embrace,
Both lovers in their perfect place.
She gently nibbles at his lips,
His hands are wrapped around her hips,
Thunder rumbles in the air,
He gently strokes away her hair.
She whispers softly in his ear,
Her love for him is oh so clear,
He gently murmurs oh just there,
Both in tune - a perfect pair.
They lie together face to face,
Quiet, content, in warm embrace,
Soft words are quietly spoken,
Neither wants the moment to be broken.
Their total love is clear to see,
The perfect place for them to be,
A beautiful moment for them to share,
And always remember they were there.
Two bodies entwined in desire and love,
Lightning bolts across the sky above,
Illuminating their passionate embrace,
Both lovers in their perfect place.
She gently nibbles at his lips,
His hands are wrapped around her hips,
Thunder rumbles in the air,
He gently strokes away her hair.
She whispers softly in his ear,
Her love for him is oh so clear,
He gently murmurs oh just there,
Both in tune - a perfect pair.
They lie together face to face,
Quiet, content, in warm embrace,
Soft words are quietly spoken,
Neither wants the moment to be broken.
Their total love is clear to see,
The perfect place for them to be,
A beautiful moment for them to share,
And always remember they were there.
When You Say Nothing At All.
It's amazing how you
Can speak right to my heart
Without saying a word
You can light up the dark
Try as I may I could never explain
What I hear when you don't say a thing
The smile on your face let's me know that you need me
There's a truth in your eyes saying you'll never leave me
The touch of your hand says you'll catch me wherever I fall
You say it best
When you say nothing at all
All day long I can hear
People talking out loud
But when you hold me near
You drown out the crowd
Try as they may they can never define
What's being said between your heart and mine
The smile on your face let's me know that you need me
There's a truth in your eyes saying you'll never leave me
The touch of your hand says you'll catch me wherever I fall
You say it best
When you say nothing at all
It's amazing how you
Can speak right to my heart
Without saying a word
You can light up the dark
Try as I may I could never explain
What I hear when you don't say a thing
The smile on your face let's me know that you need me
There's a truth in your eyes saying you'll never leave me
The touch of your hand says you'll catch me wherever I fall
You say it best
When you say nothing at all
All day long I can hear
People talking out loud
But when you hold me near
You drown out the crowd
Try as they may they can never define
What's being said between your heart and mine
The smile on your face let's me know that you need me
There's a truth in your eyes saying you'll never leave me
The touch of your hand says you'll catch me wherever I fall
You say it best
When you say nothing at all
I love this puzzle .... It can be so frustrating but I love it.
When it's complete it looks perfect. Like a yin and yang. All the pieces in perfect harmony to create a sphere that is beautiful and perfect from any angle.
When it comes apart though and it looks a jumble of pieces you think how did that ever fit together, it's impossible.
It is so frustrating and maddening as you try and put the pieces back together, they fall apart, they clash, they grate.
It makes you want to shout out loud. And the more frustrated, the more impatient you get, the harder it becomes to think clearly.
But then suddenly, a glimpse of how it fits, a break through. And then all of a sudden the pieces come back together and that perfect single sphere is back together and looking beautiful again,
It is funny how the pieces hold each other together when they are a single whole sphere but when one comes lose they all fall apart.
All pieces of the jigsaw working in perfect harmony to create the perfect whole.
When it's complete it looks perfect. Like a yin and yang. All the pieces in perfect harmony to create a sphere that is beautiful and perfect from any angle.
When it comes apart though and it looks a jumble of pieces you think how did that ever fit together, it's impossible.
It is so frustrating and maddening as you try and put the pieces back together, they fall apart, they clash, they grate.
It makes you want to shout out loud. And the more frustrated, the more impatient you get, the harder it becomes to think clearly.
But then suddenly, a glimpse of how it fits, a break through. And then all of a sudden the pieces come back together and that perfect single sphere is back together and looking beautiful again,
It is funny how the pieces hold each other together when they are a single whole sphere but when one comes lose they all fall apart.
All pieces of the jigsaw working in perfect harmony to create the perfect whole.
Love, anger and forgiveness ...
I recently hurt someone that I love very much. I hurt them. They were angry. They hurt me. I was angry. We didn't even get chance to argue, to shout at each other, to air our grievances, to get it in the open, to work it out.
Unfortunately they went silent, I went silent. They detached, I detached. The anger grew and festered. I am sure that we were both feeling "How could they do that to me? How could they hurt me like this? What were they thinking? Am I not important to them! They obviously don't care as much as I do."
In my anger I couldn't see the hurt that I had caused them. The anger had blinded me, I couldn't see clearly.
It was only when I harnessed the power and strength of my love for them, I made a leap of faith. I told myself that I trusted them totally, without question - that they are kind and caring and loving. That they would never knowingly hurt me or be unkind to me. I let go of my anger and forgave them.
In that instance I saw that I had hurt them. I saw why they were angry. It all became clear.
It was my unconditional love for that person that gave me the strength to take that leap of faith. That I trusted them totally. That loving them was the singular most important thing. Nothing else mattered.
Now I can only seek their forgiveness and hope that their love for me is strong enough to help them make that leap of faith too. That they can let go of their anger too.
But if they can't, or don't want to, or aren't ready to, I will still love them. I will still be waiting. Not to argue but to listen and learn and say sorry.
And that is how I believe that anger and forgiveness and unconditional love are linked.
I recently hurt someone that I love very much. I hurt them. They were angry. They hurt me. I was angry. We didn't even get chance to argue, to shout at each other, to air our grievances, to get it in the open, to work it out.
Unfortunately they went silent, I went silent. They detached, I detached. The anger grew and festered. I am sure that we were both feeling "How could they do that to me? How could they hurt me like this? What were they thinking? Am I not important to them! They obviously don't care as much as I do."
In my anger I couldn't see the hurt that I had caused them. The anger had blinded me, I couldn't see clearly.
It was only when I harnessed the power and strength of my love for them, I made a leap of faith. I told myself that I trusted them totally, without question - that they are kind and caring and loving. That they would never knowingly hurt me or be unkind to me. I let go of my anger and forgave them.
In that instance I saw that I had hurt them. I saw why they were angry. It all became clear.
It was my unconditional love for that person that gave me the strength to take that leap of faith. That I trusted them totally. That loving them was the singular most important thing. Nothing else mattered.
Now I can only seek their forgiveness and hope that their love for me is strong enough to help them make that leap of faith too. That they can let go of their anger too.
But if they can't, or don't want to, or aren't ready to, I will still love them. I will still be waiting. Not to argue but to listen and learn and say sorry.
And that is how I believe that anger and forgiveness and unconditional love are linked.
Cufflinks ...
I love cufflinks. They are just a bit different, a bit unusual, a bit special. It is so easy to buy a shirt with a button cuff. You have to search a bit harder for a shirt with a double cuff, a French cuff. A smart shirt with cufflinks just projects a smart and professional image.
That extra effort just shows I think, that attention to detail, that focus. Something to be proud of.
These are my favourite cufflinks. When I wear them I feel on top of the world.
They are so special to me.
I love cufflinks. They are just a bit different, a bit unusual, a bit special. It is so easy to buy a shirt with a button cuff. You have to search a bit harder for a shirt with a double cuff, a French cuff. A smart shirt with cufflinks just projects a smart and professional image.
That extra effort just shows I think, that attention to detail, that focus. Something to be proud of.
These are my favourite cufflinks. When I wear them I feel on top of the world.
They are so special to me.
I hope you're ok ...
So driven and determined and focused and sure,
I hope you're ok,
A new home, a new start, a new chapter and more,
I hope you're ok.
You left so suddenly with anger and hate,
I hope you're ok,
You said friends always but now not even a mate,
I hope you're ok.
They say silence is golden but it's also a curse,
I hope you're ok,
It feels like it couldn't really get much worse,
I hope you're ok.
I know you're trying to find a way through,
I hope you're ok,
Just let me know so that I can try too,
I hope you're ok.
So driven and determined and focused and sure,
I hope you're ok,
A new home, a new start, a new chapter and more,
I hope you're ok.
You left so suddenly with anger and hate,
I hope you're ok,
You said friends always but now not even a mate,
I hope you're ok.
They say silence is golden but it's also a curse,
I hope you're ok,
It feels like it couldn't really get much worse,
I hope you're ok.
I know you're trying to find a way through,
I hope you're ok,
Just let me know so that I can try too,
I hope you're ok.
I'm sorry ...
I am so sorry for not being there when you needed me the most.
Please forgive me.
There is no-one so blind as someone who doesn't want to see.
These last few days I have been so wrapped up in my own problems, my own anger and self righteousness. Even yesterday. I was cross, I was hurting, I was sad, I was angry. I couldn't understand.
Love shines light on those dark thoughts though and it shone a light for me. It has helped me to see clearly.
I didn't see that there had been a frightened, lonely, confused girl asking for help, for comfort, for a shoulder to cry on. I wasn't there when you needed me, when you wanted me, when you asked for me. I am so very sorry I wasn't able to be there.
Any when you understandably were hurting and got cross, I snapped back by going silent and getting cross and self righteous myself.
I am so sorry for not being there when you needed me the most.
Please forgive me.
I am so sorry for not being there when you needed me the most.
Please forgive me.
There is no-one so blind as someone who doesn't want to see.
These last few days I have been so wrapped up in my own problems, my own anger and self righteousness. Even yesterday. I was cross, I was hurting, I was sad, I was angry. I couldn't understand.
Love shines light on those dark thoughts though and it shone a light for me. It has helped me to see clearly.
I didn't see that there had been a frightened, lonely, confused girl asking for help, for comfort, for a shoulder to cry on. I wasn't there when you needed me, when you wanted me, when you asked for me. I am so very sorry I wasn't able to be there.
Any when you understandably were hurting and got cross, I snapped back by going silent and getting cross and self righteous myself.
I am so sorry for not being there when you needed me the most.
Please forgive me.
I believe in fairy tales....
... in love, in happiness, in companionship, in a soulmate, in a once in a lifetime connection, in happy ever after. But I can't force it. I can't make it happen, however hard I try. I just have to believe. To be there. Always.
This is the message I wasn't able to send you "I know you are cross and angry and hurting but please don't listen to that gremlin on your shoulder, to those green monster thoughts. You are my ankh, my perfect, my beautiful, my soulmate and nothing will change that, ever."
I understand that you are confused and hurting. That you are using the pain and anger to help you make and keep to your difficult decision. To tell yourself it was the right decision. Why did I wait? An impossible choice for me to make. To respect your wishes. To see if your decision was right for you. Certainly not to escape or run away. I am still here.
You said you think you're not my priority. You're right! You're so much more than just a priority. So much more than a number on a list. You are always with me where-ever I go, what-ever I do, when-ever I think. You're always there with me, guiding me, helping me, loving me.
It hurts so much when I can't be there for you when you need me, but it breaks my heart even more when you think that I don't care. That I just forget you, that you're not important. Nothing could be further from the truth. Would you feel and act like that towards me if the roles were reversed? Never. I know that. So why do you think that of me?
I can't force you to trust me, to believe in me, to believe that my feelings for you are true and so deep. Only you can tame the green eyed monster that pops up and whispers in your ear.
All I know is that decisions made in anger are often regretted but decisions made with love will last a lifetime.
At the end of the day, I am still just a boy asking a girl to love him...
Or at the very least, when you are ready, to be a friend, a companion and a wise council on this complicated journey through life.
I still believe in fairy tales.
... in love, in happiness, in companionship, in a soulmate, in a once in a lifetime connection, in happy ever after. But I can't force it. I can't make it happen, however hard I try. I just have to believe. To be there. Always.
This is the message I wasn't able to send you "I know you are cross and angry and hurting but please don't listen to that gremlin on your shoulder, to those green monster thoughts. You are my ankh, my perfect, my beautiful, my soulmate and nothing will change that, ever."
I understand that you are confused and hurting. That you are using the pain and anger to help you make and keep to your difficult decision. To tell yourself it was the right decision. Why did I wait? An impossible choice for me to make. To respect your wishes. To see if your decision was right for you. Certainly not to escape or run away. I am still here.
You said you think you're not my priority. You're right! You're so much more than just a priority. So much more than a number on a list. You are always with me where-ever I go, what-ever I do, when-ever I think. You're always there with me, guiding me, helping me, loving me.
It hurts so much when I can't be there for you when you need me, but it breaks my heart even more when you think that I don't care. That I just forget you, that you're not important. Nothing could be further from the truth. Would you feel and act like that towards me if the roles were reversed? Never. I know that. So why do you think that of me?
I can't force you to trust me, to believe in me, to believe that my feelings for you are true and so deep. Only you can tame the green eyed monster that pops up and whispers in your ear.
All I know is that decisions made in anger are often regretted but decisions made with love will last a lifetime.
At the end of the day, I am still just a boy asking a girl to love him...
Or at the very least, when you are ready, to be a friend, a companion and a wise council on this complicated journey through life.
I still believe in fairy tales.
Waiting, hoping, thinking, wondering ...
I wish you didn't feel that you have to block me out. I only want to help.
Anyway ...
I wish you didn't feel that you have to block me out. I only want to help.
Anyway ...
Like Cleopatra, Joan of Arc, or Aphrodite ...
She's blood, flesh and bone
No tucks or silicone
She's touch, smell, sight, taste, and sound
But somehow I can't believe that anything should happen
I know where I belong and nothing's gonna happen, yeah
'Cause she's so high
High above me, she's so lovely
She's so high
Like Cleopatra, Joan of Arc, or Aphrodite
Da-da-da, da-da
She's so high
High above me
First class, fancy free
She's high society
She's got the best of everything
What could a guy like me ever really offer?
She's perfect as she can be, why should I even bother? Ah-ha
'Cause she's so high
High above me, she's so lovely
She's so high
Like Cleopatra, Joan of Arc, or Aphrodite
Da-da-da, da-da
She's so high
High above me
She comes to speak to me
I freeze immediately…
'Cause what she says sounds so unreal
'Cause somehow I can't believe that anything should happen
I know where I belong and nothing's gonna happen
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
'Cause she's so high
High above me, she's so lovely
She's so high
Like Cleopatra, Joan of Arc, or Aphrodite
Oh yeah, yeah
She's so high
High above me
She's blood, flesh and bone
No tucks or silicone
She's touch, smell, sight, taste, and sound
But somehow I can't believe that anything should happen
I know where I belong and nothing's gonna happen, yeah
'Cause she's so high
High above me, she's so lovely
She's so high
Like Cleopatra, Joan of Arc, or Aphrodite
Da-da-da, da-da
She's so high
High above me
First class, fancy free
She's high society
She's got the best of everything
What could a guy like me ever really offer?
She's perfect as she can be, why should I even bother? Ah-ha
'Cause she's so high
High above me, she's so lovely
She's so high
Like Cleopatra, Joan of Arc, or Aphrodite
Da-da-da, da-da
She's so high
High above me
She comes to speak to me
I freeze immediately…
'Cause what she says sounds so unreal
'Cause somehow I can't believe that anything should happen
I know where I belong and nothing's gonna happen
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
'Cause she's so high
High above me, she's so lovely
She's so high
Like Cleopatra, Joan of Arc, or Aphrodite
Oh yeah, yeah
She's so high
High above me
I am here for you, always and forever ...
Friend, mentor, companion, councillor, soul mate, partner, punch bag, sounding board, yin or yang, pea or pod. Choose one or all or any number in between. I am still here to support you, encourage you, help you, ready to be a wise counsel for you. I will always be here. To be a shoulder to cry on, an ear to bend, eyes to look out for you, and arms to hug you and hold you tight and make you feel special, cared for and wanted.
I am here waiting for you today, tomorrow, next week, next month, next year. What we have is too special, too unique to give up on, or to throw away.
You are still my companion, my wise council, my mentor and friend. I think about you every day and talk to you often in my thoughts and dreams. I hear your soft voice and your wise words, I see your beautiful smile and sparkling eyes, I feel your caring heart and warm embrace. You are so very special.
I hope you find comfort and support in these words of affirmation as you search to find contentment and peace.
One day when you are ready, I will be right here waiting for you.
Friend, mentor, companion, councillor, soul mate, partner, punch bag, sounding board, yin or yang, pea or pod. Choose one or all or any number in between. I am still here to support you, encourage you, help you, ready to be a wise counsel for you. I will always be here. To be a shoulder to cry on, an ear to bend, eyes to look out for you, and arms to hug you and hold you tight and make you feel special, cared for and wanted.
I am here waiting for you today, tomorrow, next week, next month, next year. What we have is too special, too unique to give up on, or to throw away.
You are still my companion, my wise council, my mentor and friend. I think about you every day and talk to you often in my thoughts and dreams. I hear your soft voice and your wise words, I see your beautiful smile and sparkling eyes, I feel your caring heart and warm embrace. You are so very special.
I hope you find comfort and support in these words of affirmation as you search to find contentment and peace.
One day when you are ready, I will be right here waiting for you.
Queen Nefertari ...
You are my Queen Nefertari, my beautiful companion, my friend for life.
When I had reached rock bottom, the depths of loneliness and sadness and despair, you saved me. You were there for me. You gave me hope. You were strong and caring and compassionate, but direct and truthful. After that call I was still hurting and bruised and battered but I was saved, I was alive. You were the defibrillator that restarted my heart and gave me hope.
Later when you phoned me again it was a surprise, a nice very unexpected surprise. I heard the excitement in your voice and we chatted and laughed. It was the second moment of clarity that day. I knew at that moment that I could not turn my back on you or our friendship for a moment longer. I had been selfish in thinking of my hurt and pain and needs and wants, not selfless in thinking of the help and support and friendship that I could provide you. I was on the mend, friends forever, life was slowly improving, even a little smile and some hope.
Or so I thought.
Then suddenly something changed, I don't know what. It was as if I had passed the baton of sadness and despair over to you. It happened so quickly and before I knew it, before I could speak to you, and help you and be there for you, you were gone.
There is no-one else, there is only you. I haven't moved on. The glimmer of my old self that you saw was all down to you and no-one else. It was down to your patience and kindness and unwavering care and compassion and understanding.
And now in your time of sadness and loneliness and emptiness I'm not there for you, I can't find you and I feel so helpless. Whatever has happened and whatever you are thinking, I beg you to stop and to look at this ankh and remember and believe in unconditional love. Don't listen to dark thoughts, to that gremlin on your shoulder but look for that warm blanked that I am holding open for you. I am here for you, always, forever.
Friends for life and forever more.
You are my Queen Nefertari, my beautiful companion, my friend for life.
When I had reached rock bottom, the depths of loneliness and sadness and despair, you saved me. You were there for me. You gave me hope. You were strong and caring and compassionate, but direct and truthful. After that call I was still hurting and bruised and battered but I was saved, I was alive. You were the defibrillator that restarted my heart and gave me hope.
Later when you phoned me again it was a surprise, a nice very unexpected surprise. I heard the excitement in your voice and we chatted and laughed. It was the second moment of clarity that day. I knew at that moment that I could not turn my back on you or our friendship for a moment longer. I had been selfish in thinking of my hurt and pain and needs and wants, not selfless in thinking of the help and support and friendship that I could provide you. I was on the mend, friends forever, life was slowly improving, even a little smile and some hope.
Or so I thought.
Then suddenly something changed, I don't know what. It was as if I had passed the baton of sadness and despair over to you. It happened so quickly and before I knew it, before I could speak to you, and help you and be there for you, you were gone.
There is no-one else, there is only you. I haven't moved on. The glimmer of my old self that you saw was all down to you and no-one else. It was down to your patience and kindness and unwavering care and compassion and understanding.
And now in your time of sadness and loneliness and emptiness I'm not there for you, I can't find you and I feel so helpless. Whatever has happened and whatever you are thinking, I beg you to stop and to look at this ankh and remember and believe in unconditional love. Don't listen to dark thoughts, to that gremlin on your shoulder but look for that warm blanked that I am holding open for you. I am here for you, always, forever.
Friends for life and forever more.
I have failed you ...
On this most difficult day I am not there for you. I have let you down.
I have no words ... no smile ... no laughter ... no happiness ... all is gone. Only sadness and emptiness are left.
Lost. Alone. Heartbroken. Helpless.
On this most difficult day I am not there for you. I have let you down.
I have no words ... no smile ... no laughter ... no happiness ... all is gone. Only sadness and emptiness are left.
Lost. Alone. Heartbroken. Helpless.
27.08.2020
A poem ....
I will always be here for you,
Where ever you go, whatever you do,
You’ll never be alone or lonely or sad,
You are in my life and for that I’m glad.
You are my sun, my moon, my beautiful stars,
And all of the planets from Venus to Mars,
You sparkle and shine and glow when I smile,
It makes me the happiest by a country mile.
I know the future looks scary and tough,
But with you by my side that will be more than enough,
I've never known a love like this before,
I just couldn't ask for anything more.
Thinking of you ....
I will always be here for you,
Where ever you go, whatever you do,
You’ll never be alone or lonely or sad,
You are in my life and for that I’m glad.
You are my sun, my moon, my beautiful stars,
And all of the planets from Venus to Mars,
You sparkle and shine and glow when I smile,
It makes me the happiest by a country mile.
I know the future looks scary and tough,
But with you by my side that will be more than enough,
I've never known a love like this before,
I just couldn't ask for anything more.
Thinking of you ....
I just want to be liked ....
Anyone who has ever seen this movie. That was my childhood.
The smallest, skinniest, weediest, geekiest kid with the worst possible bowl haircut..... Although I did not have Hugh Grant to save me ... but fortunately I did have a stable home life with two loving parents, albeit somewhat geeky and socially awkward themselves.
The bullying and humiliation at school was continual and relentless for five years. Every school assembly, every sports day, every swimming carnival. Most days in the school canteen, in the playground, at the lockers, on the sports field, even in class ... there was no escaping. If you hid away in the library it was perfect ammunition for more humiliation and teasing. When the bullies came around your so called mates disappeared into the background. Wedgies, dead arms, dead legs ... take his uncool shoes or trainers and throw them around for a bit, maybe his geeky backpack and it's contents ... throw them around the playground ... great fun. Or just a good old fashioned beating. Every day looking over your shoulder; doing your paper round, on the walk to school. It didn't help that I played the trumpet which I had to walk to school carrying, another great target for some humiliation and laughter and my expense. The school breaks were the worst ... lonely ... a quiet corner of the playground, inconspicuous .... or a few laps of the school, just walking with my thoughts. I know ... concentrate on my studies, do well instead - another great source of material to tease me - the geek, the bookworm, the nerd. And all I wanted was a friend and to be liked. Not much to ask for.
Fortunately, when I moved on to college and university I made good friends and started to learn that if you make people laugh they might like you. Or at least deflect the teasing. A quick wit and a clever use of words, learn lots of jokes for every occasion and life started to look up.
But that was many years ago ... what's that got to do with now? I vowed never to be a bully, to be nice to people and to help people. To be kind and caring not nasty or hurtful. I never ever want people to go through what I went through at school ... ever ... whether they are 5, 15 or 50 ... whether it is in the workplace or just in life in general.
Even now I sometimes get questioned, what does he want, what's he after, he must fancy her, what's his ulterior motive, he must be after something. But it is really very simple ..... all I ever want is to be nice to people and to be liked .......
The smallest, skinniest, weediest, geekiest kid with the worst possible bowl haircut..... Although I did not have Hugh Grant to save me ... but fortunately I did have a stable home life with two loving parents, albeit somewhat geeky and socially awkward themselves.
The bullying and humiliation at school was continual and relentless for five years. Every school assembly, every sports day, every swimming carnival. Most days in the school canteen, in the playground, at the lockers, on the sports field, even in class ... there was no escaping. If you hid away in the library it was perfect ammunition for more humiliation and teasing. When the bullies came around your so called mates disappeared into the background. Wedgies, dead arms, dead legs ... take his uncool shoes or trainers and throw them around for a bit, maybe his geeky backpack and it's contents ... throw them around the playground ... great fun. Or just a good old fashioned beating. Every day looking over your shoulder; doing your paper round, on the walk to school. It didn't help that I played the trumpet which I had to walk to school carrying, another great target for some humiliation and laughter and my expense. The school breaks were the worst ... lonely ... a quiet corner of the playground, inconspicuous .... or a few laps of the school, just walking with my thoughts. I know ... concentrate on my studies, do well instead - another great source of material to tease me - the geek, the bookworm, the nerd. And all I wanted was a friend and to be liked. Not much to ask for.
Fortunately, when I moved on to college and university I made good friends and started to learn that if you make people laugh they might like you. Or at least deflect the teasing. A quick wit and a clever use of words, learn lots of jokes for every occasion and life started to look up.
But that was many years ago ... what's that got to do with now? I vowed never to be a bully, to be nice to people and to help people. To be kind and caring not nasty or hurtful. I never ever want people to go through what I went through at school ... ever ... whether they are 5, 15 or 50 ... whether it is in the workplace or just in life in general.
Even now I sometimes get questioned, what does he want, what's he after, he must fancy her, what's his ulterior motive, he must be after something. But it is really very simple ..... all I ever want is to be nice to people and to be liked .......
I just want to scream ….. I’m so frustrated.
Have you ever felt like whichever way you turn there is no way out? Like a nightmare, every door you try is either locked or closing? The direction that you want to go in, towards sunshine and happiness, is constantly blocked, doors slammed in your face and obstacles are put in the way?
Don’t give up. It will get better. It’s that inner strength, that determination, that fight which has got you to where you are today and the beautiful memories that you have made on the way. Hang in there, you will see. The clouds will clear, and you will see the path again. A door will open and you will be on your way again, making more beautiful memories – turning the dreams from these dark days into reality.
Have you ever felt like whichever way you turn there is no way out? Like a nightmare, every door you try is either locked or closing? The direction that you want to go in, towards sunshine and happiness, is constantly blocked, doors slammed in your face and obstacles are put in the way?
Don’t give up. It will get better. It’s that inner strength, that determination, that fight which has got you to where you are today and the beautiful memories that you have made on the way. Hang in there, you will see. The clouds will clear, and you will see the path again. A door will open and you will be on your way again, making more beautiful memories – turning the dreams from these dark days into reality.
Lonely, Empty and Unmotivated.
If things are getting you down and you are feeling lonely, empty and unmotivated just remember that there is someone out there who is thinking of you and looking out for you.
I was encouraged to look up about the Church of the Holy Virgin at Musturud (Mostorod) which marks the spot where the Holy Family found shelter after a long day of travelling. The church includes the cave where they rested and the well that Jesus created, which the Holy Family used for drinking, washing and bathing, that is why it is called al–Mahamma (bathing place). It looks an amazing place to visit and I understand is a spiritual pilgrimage destination for Coptic Christians.
The journey from sadness and loneliness to happiness and contentment can seem unclear at times. It begins with just a few steps, much like a pilgrimage. The journey may be difficult but the reward will be great. I hope I can make the journey to that Holy Church one day.
If things are getting you down and you are feeling lonely, empty and unmotivated just remember that there is someone out there who is thinking of you and looking out for you.
I was encouraged to look up about the Church of the Holy Virgin at Musturud (Mostorod) which marks the spot where the Holy Family found shelter after a long day of travelling. The church includes the cave where they rested and the well that Jesus created, which the Holy Family used for drinking, washing and bathing, that is why it is called al–Mahamma (bathing place). It looks an amazing place to visit and I understand is a spiritual pilgrimage destination for Coptic Christians.
The journey from sadness and loneliness to happiness and contentment can seem unclear at times. It begins with just a few steps, much like a pilgrimage. The journey may be difficult but the reward will be great. I hope I can make the journey to that Holy Church one day.
Separation and distance.
Promises and commitments made in the good times are there to see us through the tough times, the difficult times.
"I will always understand you and try and be patient even through our madness of times, and try and guide you and support you when you cant see a path.."
Promises and commitments made in the good times are there to see us through the tough times, the difficult times.
"I will always understand you and try and be patient even through our madness of times, and try and guide you and support you when you cant see a path.."
Fasting.
For many we are currently in the Fast of St. Mary, also known as the Dormition of the Mother of God. It is a time for sacrifice and reflection.
This beautiful icon is of the Dormition of the Virgin and can be found in the Church of the Dormition of the Virgin on the Greek island of Syros in the Aegean Sea south-east of Athens.
For those looking to strengthen that spiritual bond, I hope that this time of fasting and solitude brings calm and peace.
For many we are currently in the Fast of St. Mary, also known as the Dormition of the Mother of God. It is a time for sacrifice and reflection.
This beautiful icon is of the Dormition of the Virgin and can be found in the Church of the Dormition of the Virgin on the Greek island of Syros in the Aegean Sea south-east of Athens.
For those looking to strengthen that spiritual bond, I hope that this time of fasting and solitude brings calm and peace.
"Boundaries and walls ..."
These difficult times mean that, more than ever, there are increasing boundaries and walls in our lives. In many ways normal life seems to have been put on hold. We can get cross and frustrated, or sad and lonely. But one benefit is having the time for reflection - quiet time, thinking time. Time to think about special relationships, especially when they can now only be long distance ones. Just like times of old in many ways. It is a chance to gain a perspective on the struggles of forebears, the sacrifices they made and the challenges that they faced. Special relationships that are truly special will stand these tests and will only grown stronger ... the middle of a journey ... I will be thinking of those special little meaningful things that I can do while these boundaries and walls are in place. Things to make someone smile and feel loved, for that journey to continue when these restrictions are lifted.
These difficult times mean that, more than ever, there are increasing boundaries and walls in our lives. In many ways normal life seems to have been put on hold. We can get cross and frustrated, or sad and lonely. But one benefit is having the time for reflection - quiet time, thinking time. Time to think about special relationships, especially when they can now only be long distance ones. Just like times of old in many ways. It is a chance to gain a perspective on the struggles of forebears, the sacrifices they made and the challenges that they faced. Special relationships that are truly special will stand these tests and will only grown stronger ... the middle of a journey ... I will be thinking of those special little meaningful things that I can do while these boundaries and walls are in place. Things to make someone smile and feel loved, for that journey to continue when these restrictions are lifted.
"I will always be looking out for your, searching for you. I will always be hoping you come round that corner to fill my heart with warmth and joy"
"There isn't a day goes by that I don't think about you, my beautiful companion."
"There isn't a day goes by that I don't think about you, my beautiful companion."